I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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