never play flip cup with pint glasses
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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