thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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