i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
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