Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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