Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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