I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Randomize
