What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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