Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
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