Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
you had me at cake vodka
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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