Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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