we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
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