He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
