Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
