i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Randomize
