She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
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