i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
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