What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize