i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
