I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
