hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
