i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
