Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
