I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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