It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
