Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Randomize
