You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize