He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
What drink are we having for lunch?
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
