I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
