Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Randomize
