just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
