the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
Even the bartender felt bad for me
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
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