it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i may or may not be watching the land before time
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
