I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
