real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
