God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Sponge bath it is.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
