Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
