Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(909): View more from California

if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids

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(909): View more from California

do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?

(760): View more from California

and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook

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(619): View more from California

He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.

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(334): View more from Alabama

How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.

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(443): View more from Maryland

She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.

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(302): View more from Delaware

My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.

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(414): View more from Wisconsin

Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?

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(35): View more from

I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah

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(315): View more from New York

Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?

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