i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
