Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
