Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
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