she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
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