I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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