The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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