Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
