so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize