Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm way too hungover for life right now
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
