he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Randomize
