Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
