Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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