Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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