Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
My cat gives me a boner
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
