I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'm just crazy horny about you
The uberlube is also flammable
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Randomize
