I want to stick my p in your. b.
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
