that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
