Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
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