Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize