People in love make me want to vomit
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
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