I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
