it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
