the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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