The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
